Being freshly back amongst les francais after some delightful ‘Aussie Man’ time at home, i thought i’d take a minute to reflect on some obvious differences between French men and Australian men…

An Aussie man will pay for a woman on a first date, to try to impress them. A Frenchman will only pay for a woman after he has already been suitably impressed.

Aussie men like a girl with a good appetite, as long as she is happy. French men like a girl with a good appetite, as long as she is thin.

If you even so much as make eye contact with a Frenchman on the metro, he will believe that you have fallen in love with him. An Australian would never assume such a thing. That would require analysing.

Australian men want to appear strong, and protect you. Frenchmen want to appear intelligent, and debate you.

A Frenchman will approach you directly if you do make obvious eye contact. An Australian will blush and tell his friends, but won’t have the guts to come near you.

French men believe that it is acceptable to spit and to pick their nose in public. Aussie men DO spit and pick their nose in public but are aware that it is totally unacceptable.

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