Nude Neighbors

I have some new neighbors in the hood. A young couple that have obviously never had a “vis-a-vis” (neighbors that can see into their windows). How do I know this you may ask? WELL. Let me explain.

Not to put too fine a point on it, I’ve seen them regularly making out on the bed, but that’s not really the worst of it. I have seen my fair share of impetuous preliminaries on the streets of Paris. Who hasn’t? It’s practically a right of passage to see some tongue-baths in this town. Eventually, they get to more advanced techniques and draw the blinds. (Thank the lord.)

The worst part isn’t the bedroom… it’s their bathroom. (You see where I’m going with this.) In France the toilet is typically separate from the tub area, and I cannot express how truly grateful I am for this custom. But the problem remains: I have a view of their tub area.

Shockingly, this pair of unprudists have a curtain. What they don’t have, is a clue how to use it. It’s strategically placed 1/2-way folded down. It’s Pubes-R-Us over there.

Anon-nudists next door shower nightly, for which I’m very glad. Less stink on the metro is good for all. Unfortunately they spend an inordinate amount of time drying themselves in front of the window, where I have a front-row seat to the butt-crack show of a lifetime.

I could sell tickets to this, not kidding. The red-light district ain’t got nothing on my neighbors. But that’s the thing. You can’t not look.

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