I’ve noticed lately that a lot of my expat friends seem to be in a slang word time warp. Do slang words learned before moving abroad stay through the years in one’s expat life? Does slang stand still over time?

Je pense que oui. It seems to be the case in La Mom’s entourage. Here’s what I’ve overheard:

At the expat get-together:
Kansas Mom: Dude, Montana Mom has a groovy poncho.
La Mom: I love it. It looks like it’s Missoni.
Kansas Mom: Oh là, I dig it even more knowing it’s a Missoni.
Kansas Mom is clearly stuck in a 1970s slang time warp.

Texas Mom: Mmm, Quebec Mom made paté for us. I can’t wait to eat some.
California Mom: Gag me with a spoon. I hate paté.
Texas Mom: Do you like foie gras?
California Mom: No way, José. Barf me back to the stone age.
Texas Mom to La Mom: Did she really just say, “Barf me back to the Stone Age?”
La Mom: Are you from Southern California? How long have you been in France?
California Mom: How’d you know? Too long.
California Mom = stuck in a 1980s slang word time warp.

>more examples

My visa expired towards the end of November. For months, I’d been dreaming up schemes that would help me to stay. The option that held the most appeal, but would be by far the hardest to get, was to try again for the Competences et Talents visa. There are a few different ways to get this visa. I decided to try as an artist.
In order to prove I am a talented and competent artist, I have to come up with a project, prove that I have the skills, ability, resources and reputation to get the project done, and prove that it has significant appeal for both France and my home country.

I barely slept for weeks, trying to get everything ready for my visit with the Prefecture in November. My final dossier was 61 pages in French. This does not include the numerous personal documents I needed to bring with me, as well.

A French friend of mine came with me to my Prefecture visit, just in case I needed help translating. We got there early and headed inside. For reference, we were at the Prefecture on Ile de la Cite in the center of Paris.

There are two sections for visa applications, as far as I could see. On the left, Europeans, Americans and some Asian countries. On the right, everybody else. I headed to the left.

We sat for a while. I was incredibly nervous, excited, expectant, and ready to be horribly disappointed.

After about two hours, I was called up. When we sat down, I told the woman that I would like to apply for the Competences et Talents visa.

She: You have to apply for this visa two months before your visa expires and yours expires in two weeks.
Me: Yes, I know, but I made this appointment over four months ago and this was the earliest available appointment.
She: *French shrug.*

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Despite looking vaguely art-deco in form, this structure was designed by architects Manolo Nunez-Yanowski and Miriam Teitelbaum in 1991, and houses the Commissariat de Police du 12ème arrondissement—the local police station.

Although the curves of the building are merely derivative, what makes it really noticeable are the sculptured human forms jutting out from the balconies on the top floor. Sometimes labelled caryatids in descriptions of the building, these are actually telamons or atlantes, as the figure is most definitely male! In fact, the figure is based on Michelangelo’s dying slave sculpture, which can be found today in the Louvre.

Manolo Nunez-Yanowski is very much a postmodern architect and, unsurprisingly, worked with Ricardo Bofill on several projects. Indeed, two of their most well-known creations can be seen alongside each other in the town of Noisy le Grand to the east of Paris. The Arènes de Picasso for Nunez-Yanowski  (sometimes known as “The Camembert), and Le Palacio for Bofill.

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Having worked for Chanel, Robert Clergerie and Loewe, shoes and accessories designer Avril Gau went on to set up her own eponymous brand in 2002. At the end of 2010, she opened her first boutique in Paris’ chic St Germain – a charming and cosy two-floor shop stocking her collection of bags, shoes and wallets alongside jewellery by Alex Monroe and cologne by Acqua di Genova. The collections feature butter-soft leathers in mostly sober colours – black,  burgundy, bark-brown, moss-green, navy-blue – with a quintessentially Parisian attention to detail – a leather bow here, a gold fastening there. What’s more, unlike many of her luxury fashion brand contemporaries, Gau has the bags made in France and the shoes made in Italy or Portugal: there’s no Made in China here. Prices are very reasonable, especially considering the high quality materials, design and craftsmanship, with shoes starting at around €200, bags at €190 and wallets at €45 – you’re essentially getting high end products at high street prices. And with the January sales around the corner, there will be even bigger bargains to be had.

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Although the exhibition of the work of Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama at the Centre Pompidou ended on January 9th, three of her works can still be seen in the Jardin des Tuileries. Called ‘Flowers that bloom at midnight’, these monumental creations add a big splash of color to a park currently wearing its dark winter clothes!

>more weekend art and activities

Half the fun of taking a trip to France is planning the things to do in Paris. Between museums, dining out, strolls in world-famous gardens, and just hanging out in cafes, there are enough activities to enjoy a different kind of experience on each day of your trip. Still, a visit to the capital’s most famous landmark is always a must. In addition to marveling at the structure from the surrounding Champs de Mars, you can have a meal inside the Eiffel Tower restaurant. For special outings such as that, make sure to book in advance, as there are plenty of others who would love to secure a seat.

Another can’t-miss is a visit to the Louvre. But there are smaller museums that offer a more bite-size piece of French art and history. The Musee Nissim de Camondo is one of many museums operated by the umbrella group that runs the Louvre. But this spot, located on the edge of the tony Parc Monceau in the 8th arrondissement, is an hotel particulier, or private mansion, bequeathed to France by the Camondo family. The home is decorated as it was before World War II, packed with 18th century art and furniture treasures. Part of the joy of a visit to this museum is seeing how a wealthy, cultivated family spent their days. Viewing the family kitchen and even the bathrooms offers an eye-opening perspective on pre-war life in the French capital.

Au Nom de la Rose specializes in everything roses. When I pass by the shop, there are always the most vividly colored bouquets and arrangements spilling on to the street. They make smart arrangements in mini- watering cans and do an adorable one with either a single, double, or triple rose configuration in a tiny tin pail. I always buy them as gifts for dinner parties, so the hostess/host doesn’t have to fuss finding a vase to fill with water. When you purchase something, they ask you if it’s for a gift, and if it is they will put in in a shopping bag, and fill the top with rose petals and staple a single rose to the side of it.

Not only do they have a spectacular selection of roses, they also offer a product line of other rose products, including jam, lollipops, chocolates with crystalized roses, perfume, candles, room spray, and rose-flavored syrup.

87 rue Saint Antoine, 75004

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2 Paris flat available for rent. 2 month minimum, no maximum. Rent includes all utilities as well as high-speed wifi, cable TV with English channels, and phone calls to most foreign countries.

This 1-bedroom flat is on rue Voltaire in the 11th arrondissement. It has a full bed and a pull-out sofabed. Rent is 1300 euros per month.

Click here for more pix and a list of amenities.

This flat is on a cobblestone square overlooking one of the famous staircases of Montmartre. It is on rue Nobel in the 18th arrondissement, just behind Sacre Coaur. Nearest metro is Lamarck Caulaincourt. Rent is 1200 euros per month.

Click here for more pix and a list of amenities.

Boldly placed just steps away from the well-established Experimental Cocktail Club, Jefrey’s touts itself as a speakeasy-type gentlemen’s club. The interior looks promising: dim and sexy, small and intimate with deep purple velour sofas, comfortable arm chairs and elegant touches like the vintage seltzer bottles and cut-glass decanters. However, it does seem to be a gentlemen’s club that wants no fatties at the bar as the bar chairs are the tightest I’ve ever squeezed my bum into. An inch more ass and I would have needed the assistance of the pretty hostess plus a barman or two to pry it out of my butt.

The menu features a selection of cocktails in the mid-teens price range, including standards like the obligatory cosmo and house creations that feature a lot of fresh fruit and flavored syrups. Some are divided into ‘for him’ and those ‘for her.’ My martini was competently made, yet slightly warm, and came with simple savory cracker bites. I followed up with a margarita, which if memory serves, was nice enough. The spirits selection is somewhat small but with a few nice choices. While I take issue with the vodka-heavy selection, I have no real gripe with the way the drinks are made.

14 rue St. Sauveur, 75002

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One Parisian friend goes to London to get his hair done. Another goes for the clubs, claming Paris boites are lame. Whatever your reason, Eurostar trips from Paris to London are a mere €79 round trip through March. At today’s exchange rate, that’s about $100 US. Thanks to Rue Rude for the tip!