Do you think it’s OK for me to throw down with a six-year old bully at Lucien’s preschool? No? Dammit. So anyway, about the bully. My son Lucien has been nervous to go to school for awhile now, but we couldn’t get out of him why. We assumed it was because he’s always in trouble at school, because that can’t be very enjoyable, so were perplexed when the teacher said he’s doing well recently. After a few more questions for a tight-lipped Lucien, we determined he was especially nervous about lunch and recess. Finally, the other night, as he laid once again sick and feverish in his bed, the tears started and the story came out.
Sammy, a kid one year older but easily twice the size of everyone else in the school, and his goons have been after my boy. It’s been getting worse over the past few months, culminating in an altercation last week in which Sammy and his friends shoved my sweet little cuckoo bird into a tree. I know the brute kid is only six years old, but still, I was like, “I WILL CRUSH HIM.” Then I realized that’s not OK because, again, he’s six, so I resigned myself to just hanging him by the band of his underwear on a wall hook and throwing eggs at him.
We knew we needed to talk to the teacher about this immediately, but frankly, I wasn’t too optimistic anything would be done. I’ve heard some rough stories in these parts about bullying. The U.S. takes bullying seriously — some would say too seriously (WHAT? We take things to extremes? Now you’re talking nonsense, punk.) I have an American friend here who approached the directrice of her daughter’s school because her daughter was a favorite target of a bully on the playground. While she was talking to the directrice about the problem, they watched her daughter get hit by the bully in question right there in front of them. The mom was like, “SEE?” and the directrice was like, “Nope, no problem here, just kids being delightful!”
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