My default position has always been to use “vous,” as a safeguard against offending anyone with whom I might be talking. I always just figured that it’s a better bet to be on the more formal side. But there’s a trap. You should never “vous” a child, for example. And yes, I’m the idiot talking to the two year old like he’s a professor or something. But even more importantly, once someone starts tutoying you, you really don’t want to create the impression (by your continued use of “vous”), that you want to maintain a respectful distance. It can be kind of like saying, “I don’t really want to be your friend.” And that’s certainly not a message I want to be sending.

Sigh. Some day, I’m hoping, this will all be second nature. Just not yet.

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