What I'm Demanding Backstage

danabI am playing a real concert here in Paris at La Maroquinerie on October 14th. By “real,” I mean a place where the sound system includes more than one crappy PA system, some broken amps and a bored dick for brains sound guy, holds more than four people comfortably, has an actual stage and most importantly, PAYS you. In cash money. Not warm beer. Yes, it’s all the rage here to pay you with two small half glasses of warm beer. You brought forty people to our club who drank all night and made us a lot of money? Here’s a nice warm shot glass of piss beer, thanks for letting us rip you off, now get out. jennifer-lopezNot anymore….because this morning I was asked by the booker for the real club to provide my hospitality rider (my list of demands for the concert). My first thought is “2 lbs. of cheddar cheese and a can of Beefaroni. Hot. Out of the can.”
I flash back to my days as a P.A. (Production Assistant) in live television concerts. I once was sent to Bed, Bath and Beyond on a frantic fetch for white candles for Jennifer Lopez’s trailer because apparently everything in the trailer had to be white and the green candles in there would just not do. Jenny From The Block. Keeping it real. How, exactly, do people end up in that special crazytimes place where reality takes a nosedive? 

>read what’s on my rider

Comments are closed